You Must Be Persian If

* If your mother messes up your marriage.

* If you are a car salesman and at the same time a singer

* If you dress up to go to grocery store.

* If you go to concert, but you never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink and check out girls.

* If you never wear your wedding ring.

* If you smoke 5 packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke.

* If you pronounce "Sure", SHOOR

* If your favorite drink is Vodka.

* If you are about 35 and have no hair on your head.

* If you watch Iranian program on TV, but always nag for bad programming.

* If you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.

* If you call gas station, gas eestasion.

* If you ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house.

* If you claim you are Italian.

* If you divorce your wife but still don't let her date anyone else.

* If your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister.

* If you used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a chelokabab (Persian restaurant) in New York or London.

* If you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phones and no one ever calls you.

* If you claim your dad was a very good friend of the SHAH.

* If you don't own a house and have no job but still can afford a BMW.

* If you have to shave more than once a day.

* If you were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington D.C.

* If your in-laws come to visit and they never leave.